When employees don’t click: Curing workplace conflict
Conflict at work is inevitable, and apparently very frequent, as I’ve been asked to advise on three different situations in the past month. It’s surprising how bad chemistry can happen even among experienced professionals. Differences in personality, communication style, values or work pace can collide — sometimes quietly, sometimes loudly. No matter how it presents itself, one of the most common and disruptive challenges managers face is two employees who simply don’t click. Left unaddressed, that friction can erode morale, productivity and even cause turnover. Handled well, however, it can become an opportunity for growth, accountability and stronger team dynamics.
Whether you’re the employee who’s struggling to get along with a peer or the manager supervising staff who are antagonizing each other, everyone will hopefully find tips to improve work relationships below.
Employees: Own your part of the equation
When conflict arises, our instinct is to focus on what the other person is doing wrong. While this reaction is human, it rarely leads to resolution. Effective conflict management starts with self-awareness.
First, reflect on the situation. What honestly is causing the tension? Is it a specific behavior, communication style or perhaps assumptions about intent? Distinguish the facts from how you’re interpreting them. Saying “they interrupted me in the meeting” is clearer than “they don’t respect me.”
Second, take responsibility for your own behavior. Even if you believe the conflict isn’t your fault, how you’re responding matters. Are you avoiding the person, becoming brisk in emails or venting to co-workers around the water cooler? These behaviors may feel protective, but they only serve to escalate the issue and drag others into the conflict.
Then, when the time is right, initiate a respectful conversation. This doesn’t mean confronting your co-worker emotionally or accusatorially. Instead, frame concerns around impact and outcomes. For example: “When deadlines change without notice, it affects my ability to deliver high-quality work. I’d like us to talk through a better process.” This signals professionalism and a shared goal of effectiveness.
Finally, know when to involve a manager. If you’ve attempted direct communication and the situation remains unresolved, or if the conflict is affecting your well-being or performance, it’s appropriate to seek the support of your manager. Raising concerns is part of maintaining a healthy workplace.
For managers: Don’t ignore it
No manager wants to be in the middle of employee conflict. The temptation to stay hands-off is strong, especially if the work is getting done. But unresolved conflict rarely stays contained. It shows up in passive resistance, strained team dynamics, declining trust and dysfunction.
Address issues early. Avoid leading with blame or assumptions about who is “right.” Instead, focus on observable behaviors and business impact. Listen to each employee’s perspective separately before bringing them together. This helps people feel heard and reduces defensiveness.
When facilitating a joint conversation, set clear expectations. The goal is not to rehash every past slight or determine who started it. The objective is to restore the ability for people to work together effectively. Encourage employees to articulate what they need to be successful and what behaviors must change moving forward. A manager’s role is to keep the discussion grounded, respectful and solutions-focused.
It’s also important to examine whether systems or roles are contributing to the problem. Ambiguous responsibilities, competing priorities or unclear decision authority can inflame personal tensions. Sometimes what looks like a personality clash is actually just a process failure.
Set clear standards… and enforce them
Clarity is your ally. Managers should reinforce expectations around professionalism, collaboration and communication consistently and fairly. Allowing poor behavior from high performers or long-tenured staff sends a powerful message that standards are optional. (Refer to a previous column on talented terrors.)
If conflict persists despite coaching and intervention, managers may need to take stronger action such as formal performance management in order to protect the team and the organization.
Turn conflict into capability
Handled well, conflict can sharpen emotional intelligence, improve communication and strengthen teams. For employees, mastering the technical skill needed in your job is expected, but mastering interpersonal relationships will take your career to the next level. For managers, addressing interpersonal conflict is a core leadership responsibility; not a distraction from “real work,” but a driver of it.
The takeaway is simple: conflict ignored is conflict multiplied. But conflict managed with intention, clarity and accountability can become an opportunity for growth.
This article appears in May SBJ 2026.